Autism Mothers Speak Out by Margaret Golding

Author:Margaret Golding
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781784509064
Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers
Published: 2018-05-28T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter 9

MARY AND KOKELETSO

(SOUTH AFRICA)

Kokeletso (Koki) was born on 24 February 1984. In his first couple of years, although not a particularly easy period as Koki was very active, we felt that his development was on track. It was, as for many parents I gather, only when he went to nursery school, that

his teacher and we as parents noticed that Koki was not really like the other children. He had speech, but there was often a delay in his responses, such as when singing nursery rhythms. Add-itionally, his method of play was different, as was his interaction with the other children at school.

It was when Koki was aged between 6 and 7 and he was enrolled in school that, again, we were told that he really was not coping with formal education and that he was ‘different’. We then took him to Ga-Rankuwa Hospital, now known as Dr George Mukhari, where he was seen by a psychiatrist who, on observing his behaviour, decided he had attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and put him on Ritalin.

Back home we went, but the school still did not manage to cope with Koki in the classroom, so they recommended that he be moved to a special class at another primary school. This path led to another dead end, as this school refused to accept him, as did other special schools, some saying he was too ‘high functioning’ and others saying he did not fit their criteria.

Koki hated school and it was so hard for us to keep trying to get him into a school that he would enjoy and benefit from. The poor boy went to several different schools, none with great success until he ended up at Coronation Training Centre from 16 to 21 years old. During this traumatic time and observing Koki from a different perspective, I became increasingly aware that he spent a lot of time alone, happily playing, not particularly with toys, but rather with a small stick or leaf. It puzzled me, but he seemed happy and chatted away to himself. Though saying that, there were times when Koki would suddenly start crying for no apparent reason and this disturbed us a great deal. The other aspect that increasingly became apparent to us was that Koki, though speaking, was not truly communicating in an appropriate way.

Embarrassment was common in our daily lives, as Koki said it as he believed and felt it! If you were fat, he would tell you; if you were smelly, he would tell you! Koki’s brothers and sisters did not like being in his company and the feeling was mutual! Koki used to go and find people who were nice to him and when I asked him why he did not want to be at home with his siblings he said, ‘They do not like me, so why should I play with them?’

My husband, Kenneth, while watching Koki evolve in front of us, with his ‘inappropriate’ behaviours and the situations we could find ourselves in

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